The Drunk Life

My friend wrote and directed this video. If you like it please visit MeanRubber.com and show him some love. Anyway, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Someone sent me this on Facebook and I thought it was ridiculous.

A friend sent me this and it’s right up my ally. I swear, we spent days in middle school thinking of sexual innuendo and relating it to movies. In hindsight, idk if that was normal. I was a pretty depraved child.

“There will be Blood.” Gross. My favorites are Bi-Curious George, Who Reamed Rodger Rabbit and How Stella got her Tube Packed.

A friend sent me this You Tube video and I thought it was worth sharing. Don’t use steroids kids…

1. Flip Mino HD - What facebook-stalking, youtube watching college age person wouldn’t love an HD camcorder the size of an iPod that they can store all their drunken adventures on? It easier to share than a sorority pledge and it shoots videos in 720p resolution. Best of all, it’s only $200, meaning that you can probably buy it if you round up and return all your bottles and cans, and you can afford to take it out to the bars because it probably costs less than your outfit.
2. i Pod Touch (2nd Generation) - Speaking of smaller than an iPod, the new iTouch is much thinner than even an iPhone. With all the great applications, awesome browser and wi-fi support, the iTouch is an absolute must ahve for anyone who doesn’t have AT&T and therefore cannot have an iPhone. No reason to miss out of facebooking while on the bus to the bars, updating your blog from the palm of your hand, or browsing lolcats during lecture. I can haz cheezburger?

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This is like, dick in a box good…

Andy Samberg is fantastic. This sorta makes up for Hotrod. Well, almost

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me.  As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”

I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids…. They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word, so when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!” We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?”

I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.  I’ll be right back.”

“Ok,” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday!”

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

More quick laughs from The Drunk Life

Want to see your joke here? Send it in!

A good friend of mine has started a social movement in the wake of this election via his t-shirts that read “I voted for the Black Half.”  This post is pretty much a shameless plug, but the site is awesome, so deal with it.

Essentially, Obama is 50% black, and my friend is 0% black yet 100% jealous (of Obama’s blackness, not the Presidency.)  A little over 50% of the country voted for Obama.  Of that 53 odd percent, some were voting for the white half of Obama, and some were voting for the black half of Obama.  By wearing a BlackHalf T-Shirt, you can explain with half you voted for.

Personally, I just went with whatever half knew how to use a computer, and did not believe that at some point in history, two of every animal boarded a boat and set out into a rainstorm…

Anyway, check out blackhalf.com buy a T-Shirt, and wear it proudly.  It’s what your ancestors would have wanted.

A friend of mine who’s into nightclub promoting stumbled across this. I’ve never wanted to pee so badly in my life, well almost never. Anyway, just don’t try this at home with your X-Box. No warranties cover water damage.

People are stupid. It happens all the time, but it’s not always this funny.

ROTFL?