That’s right ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in his frustrated existence, Igor touched a pussy! Even more shocking, the girl was awake! I’ll let the following conversation speak for itself:
The tale of Igor’s first thumb war in tuna town is after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »
One of the best parts of SNL has always been Weekend Update. It’s true that Weekend Update was at it’s best when Norm MacDonald replaced Chevy Chase back in 1993, but that’s no reason to assume it isn’t still funny now. I think Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler do a great job, and this next segment is my favorite of the entire last season.
This video is a segment called “Really!?!” that Seth & Amy did after Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was stopped at a Miami Airport for allegedly trying to bring marijuana onto his flight.
So do yourself a favor and record SNL and at least watch the Weekend Update while your nursing your hangover on Sunday morning. It might just become the best part of your weekend, really.
**Trouble viewing the video? To view the video from it’s source, head here.
Ever get a ticket for public urination? That shit sucks. First of all you get searched. Even if you are lucky enough not to get caught with a fake ID, a bag of weed or a cop’s finger in your ass, you’ll still likely get taken down to the station and processed. The worst part is you generally only find yourself peeing in public late at night when you’re drunk, but these assholes give you court at 8am the next morning.
Well my weak bladdered friend, you live in oppression no more. The German company KETS has released the Roadbag, a portable little pouch you carry around just in case of an emergency. Inside the bag is a special polymer powder that turns your urine into a gel on contact, and by gel I mean projectile.
Each Roadbag comes with a refresher pad attached to keep up the illusion than men wash their hands after taking a piss. The urine is dispensed into a “snug flexible orifice” making it double as the perfect nightcap after a depressing evening of unsuccessful pick-up attempts.
The Road bag can hold up to 700ml of your big, ropey jets of urine. It was originally designed for use by frustrated drivers during traffic jams. Generally speaking, if you drank enough to piss 700ml, you probably shouldn’t be driving.
This transition brings up the important issue of break-up etiquette. When parting ways with a loved one, the ideal situation is to remain friends, keep in touch, and wish one another well. The real situation is burning remains, touching their friends, and wishing one another would go to hell. How can we avoid the immature high-school bullshit, and seamlessly transition from one partner to another?
Whatever negative comments scenesters and hipsters might make about current SNL in relation to the old school stuff, they still do manage to bring in the biggest celebrities and write great material for them. Check out this instant classic sketch with Superbowl XLI MVP Peyton Manning doing charity for the United Way.
Damn kids are such pussies these days.
**Trouble viewing the video? To view the video from it’s source, head here.
This was the first video that really restored my faith in SNL. It’s perfect for The Drunk Life, as drinking and peeing go hand in hand… or actually, they each require one hand, preferably not the same one.
Big ropey jets of urine are one of life’s more subtle pleasures..
**Trouble viewing the video? To view the video from it’s source, head here.
There are a lot of ways to go through life. Some people choose to be cheap, hording change, skimping on tips and giving shitty Christmas presents. Others choose to be condescending, going through life with a silver spoon up their ass while other have to take the more conventional shaft-route. Then there are those who choose to whore their way through life, slutting it up at every opportunity in exchange for attention, money, and the metaphorical hug that daddy never gave.
Meet CollegeCallGirl, a female student who moved to NYC for college. She found herself, a small-town girl with little income, in one of the biggest and most expensive cities in the world. In order to solve her dilemmas of being lonely and broke, she took to craigslist and started meeting tricks for casual encounters. She’s enjoying the sex, using the money for college, and in traditional hipster fashion, writing in her blog about it.
If I wanted an older man to come over and spank me or a young stud to pretend to be my high school boyfriend, they were out there in the Internet ether. All I had to do was type in my requirements, hit publish, and start sifting through emails from hundreds of men available to come over and not only provide me with any sexual service I desired but pick up a six-pack on the way over.
Wowiee! Not only will men have sex with horny co-eds they find on the Internet, but they’ll bring beer too. Sex AND beer, could college get any better?
It was the dirty jolt of excitement that comes from spontaneous, uninhibited sex with someone you barely know. If I was doing it for fun, why couldn’t I do it for money?
Ahh yes, money. Sex, beer and money, some people really can have it all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disparaging or degrading CampusCallGirl for whoring her way through life. Tons of people do it, she just happens to be rather good at it. What’s more is that she confesses to being slightly overweight and not overwhelmingly attractive. Sure, whoring your way through college would make for an amazing edition of my Unqualified Advice column, but what I’m really thinking is:
A lot of people think it’s cool to say that Saturday Night Live isn’t funny anymore. I tend to disagree. In fact, SNL is one of the hallmarks of my DVR list. The skits tend to be hit or miss, but when they’re funny, they are really funny (Dick in a Box anyone?) To that end, we’re going to be showcasing some of SNL’s greatest skits of the current generation.
College students routinely make bad decisions regarding their futures. These decisions include: habitualizing dangerous social activities, giving priority to the trivial aspects of their lives, and choosing to major in Communication. This video deals with another problem issue, Tattoos.
Besides, once you’re married that tramp stamp becomes false advertising… or does it?
**Trouble viewing the video? To view the video from it’s source, head here.
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