Why I had to Fire my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids…. They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word, so when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!” We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok,” I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday!”
And I just sat there…
On the couch…
Naked.
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Kalin Moon Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 3:17 am
hilarious stuff james!
James Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 4:06 am
Thanks Kalin, I think this is the best joke in a while.
DR. INTERNETZ Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 4:49 am
…………HORRIBLE. SAW IT COMING A MILE AWAY…….
[[BOG]] Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 5:09 am
^^THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!!!^^
UKBlaza Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 5:10 am
That’s classic. Got me in stitches! Nice one.
RachelleAprilCastillo Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 6:12 am
FUCK!
James Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 6:15 am
“Saw it coming a mile away”
“That’s what she said”
… Awesome
Ha Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 10:20 am
So, my comment was deleted. AGAIN
COPY PASTA
As i said before. That’s not a bad thing, but dont have a link to your paypal saying “If you like something i wrote”
jerry Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 11:30 am
This joke is so old it’s collecting Social Security. Better luck next time.
m Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 12:33 pm
the pic sucks. and name your sources.
James Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
Well it does say if something I wrote or posted made you laugh. Just trying to make up for the fact that because of the adult humor I can’t run standard ads. A lot of work goes into this site aside from content generation.
If you would like to read some work that is completely original, check out Unqualified Advice or the The Igor Virginity Quest.
As far as naming sources, the joke is public domain at this point. TheDrunkLife always tries to give credit where it is due whenever possible.
free ipod nano Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 5:00 pm
love it, lol
Kalin Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 10:37 pm
This made me “Jizz in my Pants” !
classic
That's What She Said,
December 11, 2008 @ 12:33 am
“This made me “Jizz in my Pants” !
classic”
amazing
Gardiner Moody Said,
December 12, 2008 @ 5:39 pm
I thought this was really funny. I’d never heard the joke before… so I was only tipped off by scrolling down and seeing the naked guy on the couch.
Lalo Marquez Said,
December 12, 2008 @ 6:04 pm
This story reminds me that other about the guy who was about to get married to a girl whose sister was always flirting with him when they were alone. The day before the wedding the guy had to go over to the sister’s house to pick something up. When he got there, she said that she has always wanted to have sex with him before he marry her sister. Then she said that she would be upstairs waiting for him and, as she began to walked up the stairs she took off her panties and threw them down to him. The guy immediately turned around and walked out the front door, only to be met by the father of the girls, who solemnly said to him: “Son, congratulations, you passed our test”. Lucky him that he kept his condoms in his car…
whatDheller Said,
December 15, 2008 @ 10:53 pm
Great joke. I started laughing out loud people at work came over to see. Good thing so I could show everyone and not ruin it my retelling it.
Festive BACARDI Drinks For Your Holiday Party | Alpha Mantra Said,
December 17, 2008 @ 8:32 pm
[...] enough of the confidence boosting chemicals that men desire. This bods well for hitting on the office secretary, or accepting the challenge from your cousins who think they can beat you at scategories (which [...]
Kassy Said,
December 22, 2008 @ 5:20 pm
ahhhh shit that sucks!
Sally Said,
December 22, 2008 @ 7:47 pm
Some of your commenters are straight up mean! Hang in there James xoxo Happy Holidays
Henry Jennings Said,
January 30, 2009 @ 1:48 pm
Good lord, the comments.
Keep up the good work; they have no life and very little understanding of what it takes to run a good blog. Neither do I, obviously, but at least I’m able to appreciate it in others.
@K Said,
February 18, 2009 @ 6:49 pm
I got this in an email chain (multiple times)
Jake Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 11:03 pm
Nice. Very nice.