Igor Cleans Up His Act
This is Igor’s bedroom:
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been trying to make Igor understand that no self-respecting girl is going to have sex in a room that looks like that. Igor retorts that any girl who is going to fuck him is obviously devoid of self-respect to begin with. I have no rebuttal.
Regardless of the fact that Igor’s target demographic is overweight emo slores*, Igor decided to heed my advice. That’s right, Igor cleaned his room. I mean, if you’re going to get a disease from having sex, you don’t want it to be meningitis from a skanky matress.
*Slore (noun) - One who exhibits traits of both a slut and a whore, and deserves dual recognition as such.
ex. “Dude, do you think Jenna’s cute?”
“Yeah dude, go for it, but be sure to wrap it up; I hear she’s a pretty big slore.”
Yes, slores don’t usually care about their sexual environment, but even they deserve some reward for charity work. Check out Igor’s new slore-accommodating pad:
Now girls can feel confident that they wont acquire athlete’s foot, ringworm or hepatitis in exchange for the HIV they give Igor. I suppose a few posters, a television, some chairs and a computer would be nice, but one step at a time. Igor has been known to buy candles. When you smell like Igor, candles are clutch. Good job Igor, keep making improvements to your ’situation’ and you’ll have that V-Card validated in no time.
Speaking of self-improvement, Igor has a new reading assignment:
Rumor has it that Igor has a couple ladies in the work for this weekend. Only time will tell if anything comes of it, but for now the quest continues…
As always, if anyone would like to meet Igor, please contact me here.
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