Last Minute Advice for S&BJ Day
The following is some advice about how Steak & Blowjob Day will effect relationships and society. I wrote it as an add-on to the original S&BJ article for Points In Case. Enjoy!
Spending the holidays with someone makes him or her feel like part of your family. Whether you’re passing the gravy bowl at Thanksgiving or the buddah bowl on 420, sharing a holiday brings people together. The existence and observance of both Valentine’s Day and Steak & Blowjob Day are essential to the equilibrium of the modern social scene.
There is a longstanding mantra about the nature of dating: “Girls fake orgasms, guys fake relationships.” As awesome of a t-shirt slogan as that is, it’s not the ideal situation that anyone would like to be in. Women need Valentine’s Day to evaluate their partners. Any tool can buy a Christmas present, and put a reminder in their PDA for a birthday and anniversary. Women need a real test, that’s why they made Valentine’s Day.
Men have to show that they love their women, not with one present, one meal, or one bouquet of flowers; but with a culmination of all the cliché crap they’ve learned from years of being subjected to “romantic comedies.” It’s very hard to pull off the perfect timing of dim lighting, chauffeured driving and muff diving without some hint of true feelings. Women know this, and they expect to be swept off their feet on this annual occasion.
Now if men are going to play into this fairy tail, it’s only fair that they get some tail in return. Men may be known for faking feelings, but so are women. Men have submitted to woman’s relationship sincerity trials for centuries, now it’s time to turn the table (or get under it) and partake in man’s perennial sexual performance test. It’s pretty hard for men to analyze the forthrightness of the female orgasm due to a mix or arrogance, alcohol and apathy. Therefore, men analyze sexual realness from the only perspective that matters, the penile one. Aside from that, we expect some dinner. It has long been stated that the way to a man’s heart is through his penis and his stomach.
Valentine’s Day requires men to show their ladies that they are creative, compassionate, and caring. In order to keep making memories, women need to be reminded that their partners are marriage material. Steak & Blowjob Day is an opportunity for women to show their men that they are sultry and seductive sword-swallowers, the caliber whose culinary creations rival their cum cravings. In order for men to keep going through the motions, they need decadent fillet and deep fellatio.
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